To live in the Borderlands means you
are neither armenian american turkish syrian lebanese iranian russian
gavur, diasporan, one hundred percent armenian
constantly trying to define and legitimize who you are
carrying centuries of hate without knowing why, you try to escape and hide;
To live in the Borderlands means knowing
that the armenian instilled in me, were based on myths and fantasies
it is no longer speaking to me
that armenians call me a traitor or schpion
That denying the american inside me
Is as bad as having denied the woman, or ottomanness.
When confronting the frontier,
you recognize you never belonged anywhere - you are a diasporan? but, are you armenian? Are your parents armenian?
sympathizing and nationalizing, you speak armenian so well!
and yet, you choose to take a stance.
you no longer wish to carry war stories and hate
you accept that loving humanity is much greater than loving your homeland.
To live in the Borderlands means to
unpack your family history every time you introduce yourself,
misuse pronouns - am I included in them?
you no longer wish to carry the baggage of war stories - 1890, 1915, 1918, 1975, 1988, 2011, 2016
Living in the Borderlands means you fight hard
not to cringe when your name is announced and mispronounced
western armenian is endangered - remember, never forget;
not really armenian in the homeland nor armenian in the diaspora - well, then what are you?
love my mother’s bakhlava as much as I love the bakhlava-jee’s in Anteb (or Gazianteb);
“In the Borderlands
you are the battleground
where enemies are kin to each other;
you are at home, a stranger;
the border disputes have (never) been settled
the volley of shots have shattered the truce
you are wounded, lost in action
dead, fighting back;” (inserted never; Anzaldúa, 2007, p. 216)
To live in the Borderlands means
reminding yourself that you chose to take off the layers
realize that the enemies were never on the other side of the border but from within.
“To survive the Borderlands
you must live sin fronteras
be a crossroads. (Anzaldúa, 2007, p. 216)”
Inspired by Anzaldúa, G. (2007). Borderlands : La frontera. Aunt Lute Books.
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